An Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Therapy

The Internal Family System, or IFS, is an evidence-based model of psychotherapy. This model is based on the premise that our minds are composed of different parts. For example, if Joel’s manager asks him to deliver a presentation at work, one part of him may feel excited, while another part may feel scared. The central idea of the IFS model is that we all have various parts, and sometimes these parts work together, while at other times they are in conflict.

IFS is rooted in the concept of multiplicity, which suggests that we are made up of many different parts. To illustrate this, let’s consider Freya. Freya is an administrator in a large company and has been bullied by a colleague, causing her significant distress. To cope with her feelings, she works long hours, leaving little time to focus on herself, her family, and her friends. She obsessively checks her work and is terrified of her colleague's reaction if she makes a mistake. Recently, her anguish has intensified to the point where she has started binge eating and dissociating. Let’s examine the internal parts at play in Freya’s situation.

The part of Freya that pushes her to work long hours and constantly check her work is known as a "Manager." Managers are protective parts that manage the external world to keep us safe. They are vigilant in attempting to prevent emotional triggers and overwhelming feelings. Manager parts are typically critical, controlling, evaluative, and strategic in planning to avoid negative outcomes.

On the other hand, there are parts known as "Firefighters." While Firefighters are also protective, they operate very differently from Managers. Managers are methodical and controlling, whereas Firefighters react instinctively and impulsively, without regard for the consequences. When Freya's distress peaks, her Firefighters emerge to block her emotional pain through binge eating and dissociation. Firefighters act during an emotional crisis and try to "put out the flames," using whatever means necessary—a strategy that may involve unhealthy behaviours such as substance abuse, risky activities, or self-destructive actions. The primary aim of Firefighters is to numb or avoid feelings in any way they can.

Both Managers and Firefighters are protective and share the same goal: to banish vulnerable parts and alleviate emotional pain. In Freya’s case, her Managers and Firefighters strive to prevent a painful part from emerging, known as "Exiles."

Exiles are the most sensitive parts of our internal system. These are often younger parts that have experienced hurt, shame, betrayal, or rejection from others. Exiles carry traumatic memories, bodily sensations, and emotions. Freya's Exiles overwhelm her with flashbacks, nightmares, and sudden feelings of fear and shame, as they hold memories of childhood abuse. To protect Freya, her Managers and Firefighters suppress her Exiles, fearing they will overwhelm her internal system. The more injured and terrified an Exile is, the more her protectors fear its release, leading them to take extreme measures to keep the Exile contained.

Managers and Firefighters may resort to criticism, denial, revulsion, distraction, and control to keep Exiles imprisoned and out of conscious awareness. However, the more an Exile is suppressed, the stronger its desire becomes to break free. This creates a ferocious conflict between Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles.

To address this conflict, the goal is to cultivate "Self-leadership."

A core concept of IFS is the "Self." The Self is present from birth and is not considered a part; rather, it is an innate aspect of who we are, making it a great inner leader. The Self is characterised by the eight Cs: Compassion, Curiosity, Clarity, Creativity, Calm, Confidence, Courage, and Connectedness. The belief is that everyone has access to these qualities at their core. One of the aims of IFS is to promote Self-leadership so that instead of being driven by our Exiles, Managers, or Firefighters, our Self is in charge. The Self can care for vulnerable parts and facilitate discussions among them.

Under Self-leadership, parts can cooperate more freely, and if a conflict arises, the Self mediates between them. While parts do not disappear under Self-leadership, their extreme roles soften. Protectors may evolve into inner advisors or problem solvers, and when the Self shows acceptance and compassion to the Exiles, those parts may transform into spontaneous and playful aspects of the personality. When parts learn to trust the Self and feel safe, they can step out of their extreme roles, becoming valuable contributors to the internal system.